Other Oceans

by April Mei

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cw: song includes mentions of suicide, physical abuse, self-harm, sexual coercion, drugs, and alcohol

Other Oceans will be on the new April Mei album coming in 2017.


Dreamed last night I tried to hide you
from the man who claimed to own you
somehow he would always find you
couldn't stop him wailing on you
Tried to shield you with my body
But I'm just as soft as you are
Older yeah, but I've been broken too
By those who claimed to love me

I remember you from somewhere
Worlds behind me, they still find me

And I was twelve years old the first time
someone put his hands on me
numb, confused and cold
I watched him in the mirror, far away
I didn't think of no, so I said yes
I guess that's what I get
Sometimes the safest thing
Is to pretend you wanted it

Drown it out with pills and liquor
Being sick just made me sicker
Watched my body sabotage me
Sink or swim here in the water

Do you remember which way is up

And I don't believe in safe spaces
I don't believe safety exists
I've had my mind battle my body
Got the tally marks to show it
Still I want to hold onto you
bring you somewhere warm and say
I see you, I believe you
I can't tell you it will be ok
But you're welcome in my fucked up house
As long as you feel you belong
I can't promise you anything
But I can long for what you long for
I can long for what you long for

Used to dream of other oceans
Full of fish who knew my colors
Thought I was just treading water
But I'm closer 10 years later

Do you remember which way is up

They tell you it gets better
and it's true for me at least in some ways
But I'm still afraid my friends will die
I know I'll lose em someday
Can't tell you it's worth staying alive
Cause I don't know your pain
But I know mine and see it in you
I'll stay in this nightmare with you
Signaling from other oceans
If you swim, I just might reach you


released December 24, 2016



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April Mei New York, New York

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